Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Couch. On fire.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
