I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do vagina's smell?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
