I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
