so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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