why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
