So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
