matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wish my penis had a tongue
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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