Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
