Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
