I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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