I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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