It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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