Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
