oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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