I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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