I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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