they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
