i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
