he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
