Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
