Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
