i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize