I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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