I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
