he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
