First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
