you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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