I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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