Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
