honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize