I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
