peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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