go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
