never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
