He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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