So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
