You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
