I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
