Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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