why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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