I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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