they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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