I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Someone came in the potted fern
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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