In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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