Betty ford says i'm here all night
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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