I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
pop tarts are not kleenex
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
