if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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