He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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