I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
