i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
