I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
