There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
