There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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