it hurts more in the daytime
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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