Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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